¡Tailandia te llama! Escapa al paraíso en Viva Vacation Resort
¡Ay, Dios Mío! Here we go… A review of ¡Tailandia te llama! Escapa al paraíso en Viva Vacation Resort. Sounds dreamy, right? Pues, vamos a ver si realmente es un paraíso o solo una postal bonita. Buckle up, amigos, porque this is gonna be a wild ride.
Accessibility: Getting There and Getting Around - ¿Cómo diablos llegamos?
Okay, let's be real, the whole accessibility thing is super important. For anyone using a wheelchair, this is a big deal. Viva Vacation Resort should have a decent starting point. La buena noticia? They say they have "Facilities for disabled guests" and "Elevator". That’s a good start, but it's a MUST DO to call ahead. Sometimes "accessible" means very different things to different people. Make sure to ask specific questions, like, “Are the ramps really ramps, or just tiny slopes? Is the shower truly accessible with grab bars?” I’ve learned the hard way. The "Airport transfer" is a lifesaver, no joke. Makes the long flight even easier, and if you're in any kind of situation that requires wheelchair accessibility, this is essential. And a "Car park [free of charge]" is ALWAYS a winner, especially if you rent one.
Restaurants, Lounges y Comida: ¿Comemos como reyes o como mendigos?
This is where it gets interesting. They boast a ton of food options. A "Restaurants" list, a "Poolside bar", a "Snack bar," and even "Coffee shop". Uf. That's a good start, but let's talk specifics. Are they ALL accessible? I'm skeptical. It’s important to ask about the "A la carte in restaurant" versus the "Buffet in restaurant." I HATE buffets after trying them… you always end up regretting it. They have "Asian cuisine in restaurant" and "International cuisine in restaurant" and "Vegetarian restaurant". That's a big tick in my book. Asian breakfast and Western breakfast are also available. I love a good Asian breakfast, but I NEED to eat something light, so the breakfast can be a big issue, ask about the Breakfast in room and the Breakfast takeaway service. The "Happy hour"? Definitely sounds appealing. The Bottle of water is a must! Oh, and that "Room service [24-hour]"? Essential for those late-night cravings or when you're just too darn tired to move. I need it.
Internet y Conexión: ¿Estamos en el siglo XXI, o qué?
Okay, a big one for me: "Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!" ¡Aleluya! This is non-negotiable for me! I have to be connected. They list "Internet access – wireless" and "Internet access – LAN" in the rooms. That's good. And the "Wi-Fi in public areas" is appreciated, too, because sometimes you just want to chill in the lobby and people-watch. The "Internet services" are vague, but I guess that’s that.
Things To Do/Relaxation: ¡A relajarse!
This is where the "paradise" promises start to kick in. A "Swimming pool [outdoor]" and "Pool with view"… perfecto para Instagram. They also offer a "Spa", "Spa/sauna", "Sauna", "Steamroom" and "Massage". Okay, I NEED a massage. Immediately. A "Body scrub" and "Body wrap" sound intriguing. They have "Fitness center" and "Gym/fitness", but I’m going for relaxation, not to sweat like a pig. Still, nice to know it’s there. They also have "Foot bath"… oh, si, lo necesito.
Cleanliness and Safety: ¿Limpio y seguro?
This is huge since all the recent events. They are advertising "Anti-viral cleaning products," "Daily disinfection in common areas," "Rooms sanitized between stays," "Hand sanitizer," "Hygiene certification," "Individually-wrapped food options," "Professional-grade sanitizing services," "Safe dining setup," "Staff trained in safety protocol," and "Sterilizing equipment." That is a lot, honestly, a little overkill, but good. That means they're taking it seriously. "CCTV in common areas" and "CCTV outside property" are reassuring. They also have "Doctor/nurse on call," "First aid kit," and "Security [24-hour]". Fingers crossed they actually use the equipment and follow protocol.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: ¡A Comer!
We talked about food already, let's see its deep details. They have, as we saw before, “A la carte in restaurant”, “Asian cuisine in restaurant”, “Bar”, “Bottle of water”, “Breakfast [buffet]”, “Breakfast service”, “Buffet in restaurant”, “Coffee/tea in restaurant”, “Coffee shop”, “Desserts in restaurant”, “Happy hour”, “International cuisine in restaurant”, “Poolside bar”, “Restaurants”, “Room service [24-hour]”, “Salad in restaurant”, “Snack bar”, “Soup in restaurant”, “Vegetarian restaurant”, “Western breakfast” and “Western cuisine in restaurant.”. I'm not sure if I like all of this, I mean, look at the name of some of the restaurants, it's starting to feel like I made a mistake reading all of this.
Services and Conveniences: ¿Nos tratan como reyes?
This is where they either make or break the experience. They have a boatload of things: "Air conditioning in public area," "Audio-visual equipment for special events," "Business facilities," "Cash withdrawal," "Concierge," "Contactless check-in/out," "Convenience store," "Currency exchange," "Daily housekeeping," "Doorman," "Dry cleaning," "Elevator," "Essential condiments," "Facilities for disabled guests," "Food delivery," "Gift/souvenir shop," "Indoor venue for special events," "Invoice provided," "Ironing service," "Laundry service," "Luggage storage," "Meeting/banquet facilities," "Meetings," "Meeting stationery," "On-site event hosting," "Outdoor venue for special events," "Projector/LED display," "Safety deposit boxes," "Seminars," "Shrine," "Smoking area," "Terrace," "Wi-Fi for special events," and "Xerox/fax in business center." That's a LOT. I'm personally excited about a clean room, working A/C, and the "Laundry service". And I hope they have good coffee! I NEED the "Coffee/tea in restaurant".
For the Kids: ¿Son bienvenidos los niños?
This is important for families. They say "Babysitting service," "Family/child friendly," "Kids facilities," and "Kids meal." That’s a good sign. Check with the hotel about the quality of these. Are the babysitters actually qualified?
Getting Around: ¿Cómo nos movemos?
We already talked about the "Airport transfer" and "Car park [free of charge]", that's important. They also have "Bicycle parking," "Car park [on-site]," "Car power charging station," "Taxi service," and "Valet parking." I hope they have good taxis because after a long flight, I don't want to deal with any problems.
Available in All Rooms: ¡A la habitación!
Here's what you get in your room: "Additional toilet," "Air conditioning," "Alarm clock," "Bathrobes," "Bathroom phone," "Bathtub," "Blackout curtains," "Carpeting," "Closet," "Coffee/tea maker," "Complimentary tea," "Daily housekeeping," "Desk," "Extra long bed," "Free bottled water," "Hair dryer," "High floor," "In-room safe box," "Interconnecting room(s) available," "Internet access – LAN," "Internet access – wireless," "Ironing facilities," "Laptop workspace," "Linens," "Mini bar," "Mirror," "Non-smoking," "On-demand movies," "Private bathroom," "Reading light," "Refrigerator," "Safety/security feature," "Satellite/cable channels," "Scale," "Seating area," "Separate shower/bathtub," "Shower," "Slippers," "Smoke detector," "Socket near the bed," "Sofa," "Soundproofing," "Telephone," "Toiletries," "Towels," "Umbrella," "Visual alarm," "Wake-up service," "Wi-Fi [free]," and "Window that opens." Lots of stuff, including the essentials like A/C, Wi-Fi, and coffee. The "Extra long bed" is a nice, great thing to have. The "Minibar" is perfect to have a drink.
My Verdict (and a Super-Duper Offer!)
Okay,
¡Hotel Karnerhof Austria: ¡Escapada de ensueño en los Alpes!
¡Ay, Dios mío! ¡Tailandia! ¡Viva Vacation Resort! ¿Por dónde empezar? This isn't a rigid itinerary, darling. This is my sanity unraveling in a tropical paradise, a beautiful mess you're about to witness. Buckle up, buttercup.
Día 1: Llegada y la Gran Desorientación (o, "Hola, Calor. Adiós, Sentido Común")
- 6:00 AM (Thailand Time - WTF moment): ¡Despertar! (Or, more accurately, being violently awaken by a jetlagged internal alarm clock that's clearly set three time zones away). My hair looks like a bird's nest, I smell faintly of airplane pretzels, and I'm pretty sure my brain is still trying to process the Thai alphabet.
- 7:00 AM: El vuelo. The flight itself was a blur of mediocre airplane food, a crying baby who seemed to have a direct line to my eardrums, and existential dread about the lack of legroom. ¡Perdón! I'm still working on letting go of the stress of the flight.
- 8:00 AM Arrival and orientation. The airport. Chaos. Smiles. A swarm of tuk-tuks trying to snatch me up. Found my transfer to the resort (thank heavens!) Spent an hour trying to figure out the local currency, almost paid a hundred dollars for a bottle of water.
- 10:00 AM: Viva Vacation Resort! OMG. The lobby? Stunning. Then the room. Even more stunning! Pool? CHECK. Beach? DOUBLE CHECK. (I almost cried from happiness). The balcony opens to the endless pool, and I nearly fainted.
- 11:00 AM: Lunch at the resort restaurant. Pad Thai. Spicy. Delicious. Almost set my mouth on fire. Worth it.
- 1:00 PM: Attempting to swim. I was determined to get in the pool, but after 5 minutes, I quickly realized I am NOT a water person. I splashed and flapped and eventually retreated, defeated, to the shade. I did get a killer sunburn on my nose, though! Classic.
- 3:00 PM: Nap time. Needed. Desperately. Woke up feeling like a slightly sweaty, but slightly less crazy, slightly more rested version of myself.
- 5:00 PM: Wandered to the beach. Sunset. Magical. Took a million pictures. Felt a wave of pure happiness wash over me. Or maybe it was the mojito.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner at the resort's seafood restaurant. Delicious fish. More mojitos. Lived through the night with my new Thai friends.
- 9:00 PM: Passed out. Jet lag wins.
Día 2: El Desastre del Masaje y la Imperfección de la Gloria
- 8:00 AM: Woke up slightly less disoriented. Breakfast buffet. Mangoes. So many mangoes. This is heaven.
- 9:00 AM: Massage Appointment. "Thai Massage" I thought. "How relaxing!!" I thought. HAHAHAHA. My body is still in shock. It was… intense. Think contortionist meets torture device. I swear, I heard my bones crack! My masseuse, a tiny woman with arms of steel, spoke mostly Thai, but I managed to gasp out "¡Más… suave!" a few times. By the end, I felt like a pretzel. I don't know I would advise any other tourist to participate if they don't know how to handle it.
- 11:00 AM: Recovering from the massage. Needed to relax. After my near-death experience, I ordered a smoothie, and sat by the pool, watching people play. I met two lovely ladies from Argentina, and we talked for hours.
- 1:00 PM: Lunch, again. Sticking to the Pad Thai. Addicted.
- 2:00 PM: Failed attempt to read a book. Too hot. Too beachy. Too much noise. The book is doomed.
- 3:00 PM: Tried paddleboarding. I fell in. A lot. Learned that graceful doesn't exist in my vocabulary. Or the sea.
- 4:00 PM: Salty and sandy and defeated, I retreated to the shade of a palm tree with a book. I read a paragraph. Then fell asleep.
- 6:00 PM: Trying to stay up for dinner, too much tiredness.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner. Tried something new, a curry. Spicy, but manageable. Thank goodness for air conditioning!
- 8:00 PM: Crash. Bed. Done.
Día 3: El Mercado y la Búsqueda de la Autenticidad (Spoiler: I Fail)
- 9:00 AM: Breakfast. More mangoes. Feeling slightly less jet-lagged, which I am grateful for.
- 10:00 AM: Decided to be adventurous. VENTURED OUTSIDE the resort, the place where you can find great food. Went to a local market. (Pray for me. lol)
- 10:30 AM: The market. Smells. Colors. Noise. A sensory overload. I was immediately lost. And overwhelmed. I just had to stop and take a breath.
- 11:00 AM: Trying to bargain. Failed miserably. Overpaid for a t-shirt that says "I went to Thailand and all I got was this lousy t-shirt." Irony? 🤔
- 12:00 PM: Ate some street food. Probably shouldn't have, but it was delicious! My stomach is praying. The locals are very friendly and helpful though.
- 1:00 PM: Decided to visit a temple. Beautiful. Peaceful. Even though I couldn't understand anything the guide said, I did enjoy the moment.
- 3:00 PM: Back at the resort. Needed a break from the chaos. Pool time. Smoothies. Recharging. I feel like I need to go back into the spa place for a massage.
- 5:00 PM: More beach time. Wrote a postcard to my dog back home. He probably misses me.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner. Live music at the resort restaurant. Great. Food. Drinks. Almost felt human again.
- 8:00 PM: Went to a show. Fun. Silly. Tourist-y. Perfect.
- 9:00 PM: Sleep.
Día 4: The Perfection of Imperfection
- 9:00 AM: Feeling less like a zombie. Yay, the sun!
- 10:00 AM: Spent hours just floating in the pool. Not doing anything. Just being. This is what a vacation is all about, right? Just relaxing.
- 11:00 AM: Went and ordered another massage. This time, it was a more gentle one. So relaxing! 😊
- 1:00 PM: More Pad Thai and more smoothies. I don't want to leave this place!
- 2:00 PM: Had a great conversation with some other tourists, about life, love and just relaxing.
- 4:00 PM: More beach walks. Collecting seashells (and wondering if I can get them back home. 🙄)
- 7:00 PM: Farewell dinner. Realized how much I will miss this place. I may not be a water person, but this is still a great vacation.
- 8:00 PM: More talking with others at the bar.
- 9:00 PM: Sleep.
Día 5: ¡Adiós Thailandia! (And the inevitable post-vacation blues)
- 6:00 AM: Woke up. The last day already? What?!
- 7:00 AM: Packed my bags, with a heavy heart.
- 8:00 AM: Last breakfast. Mangoes. More mangoes. Tears. 😭
- 9:00 AM: Final swim. One last, long look, at that beautiful pool.
- 10:00 AM: Departure. The airport. The farewells. The long journey home.
- 12:00 PM: On the plane, reflecting. This trip was not perfect. There were moments of jet lag, sunburns
¡Tailandia te llama! Escapa al paraíso en Viva Vacation Resort - FAQ (¡Y un poco de mi opinión!)
1. ¿Qué onda con eso de "Tailandia te llama"? ¿Es en serio? ¿No es puro verso de agencia?
¡Ay, sí! "Tailandia te llama"... suena a cliché, ¿verdad? Pero te juro que, al menos en Viva Vacation Resort, *sí* te llama. Te llama a olvidarte del trabajo, te llama a ponerte en chanclas y a no preocuparte por casi nada. Es como… ¿sabes cuando tenés un día de esos que te da todo igual? Bueno, multiplica eso por mil y ponelo en una playa con agua turquesa. Eso es lo que te llama. Ahora, “paraíso”... eso ya es más opinable.
2. ¿El Viva Vacation Resort es… realmente *bueno*? He leído de todo por ahí...
Uy, esta es la pregunta del millón. A ver, *bueno*… depende. Mis expectativas eran altísimas, ¿sabes? Después de meses de ahorrar y leer reseñas (¡y algunas eran tipo "¡EL MEJOR LUGAR DEL MUNDO!" y otras planamente "¡HUYAN!"), era inevitable estar un poco... nerviosa. La habitación… era linda, sí, con balcón y vista al mar (aunque me tocaron unas palmeras que me tapaban un poco la vista, ¡qué rabia!). La comida… la comida fue un poco un drama. Me esperaba un festín diario de pad thai y currys espectaculares, pero a veces era un poco... repetitiva. Un día casi lloro porque no había sopa de coco. ¡Casi una tragedia! Pero bueno, tenía buena fruta, y eso lo compensaba un poco. ¡Ah! Y el personal… súper amable, siempre con una sonrisa… y eso sí que se valora (aunque a veces me daba un poco de *cosa* tanta amabilidad, ¡parecía mentira!).
3. ¿Qué onda con las playas? ¿Son como en las fotos de Instagram? ¡Importantísimo!
¡Las playas! ¡Ay, las playas! Mira, te voy a ser sincera: *sí*. Pero con un "pero" gigante. El agua es cristalina, la arena es finita y blanca… ¡es un placer! Me pasaba horas tirada en la playa, leyendo, tomando el sol… ¡una maravilla! El problema es que, a veces (y digo *a veces*), hay... mucha gente. O vendedores ambulantes que se te acercan cada cinco minutos. Es un poco molesto, la verdad. Pero bueno, siempre podés alejarte, buscar una zona más tranquila… O simplemente poner buena cara y decir NO con una sonrisa, que también funciona (aunque a veces se sienten un poco insistentes).
4. ¿Y las actividades? ¿Hay algo más que tirarse en la arena? (Por favor, que sí…)
¡Ufff! ¡La verdad! Porque si no, me aburro. Hay de todo, eh. Clases de yoga al amanecer (¡que yo no pude hacer, porque mi "amanecer" era tipo mediodía!), snorkel (¡impresionante!), kayak (¡me caí al agua! ¡Qué vergüenza!), excursiones a islas cercanas… ¡Un montón! Yo, por ejemplo, me clavé con el masaje tailandés. ¡DI-VI-NO! Tan bueno que casi me quedo dormida en la camilla. Literal, después de eso, me sentía una pluma. ¡Una maravilla! Aunque debo admitir, la primera vez me dio un poco de cosa eso de que te estiren y te doblen… ¡Pero te acostumbrás!
5. ¿Es caro? ¿Puedo ir con mi presupuesto “de estudiante”?
Mmm… Caro, caro… no es. Pero tampoco es una ganga. Depende mucho de la época del año, de cómo te manejes con los gastos (¡las compras compulsivas de souvenirs son un *peligro*!), y de… bueno, de tu presupuesto. Yo, la verdad, me pasé un poco. Gasté más de lo que tenía planeado. ¡Pero no me arrepiento! Porque, ¿qué importa el dinero cuando estás en un lugar así de paradisíaco, verdad? (Ay, no sé, a veces me da un poco de culpa... pero bueno, ¡a disfrutar!). Hay opciones más baratas, como comer en puestos callejeros (ojo con la higiene, ¡siempre!) o buscar hoteles más modestos. Pero si querés el Viva Vacation Resort… preparate.
6. ¿Cómo es el tema de la seguridad? ¿Es peligroso?
En general, Tailandia es bastante seguro. Pero… ¡siempre hay un "pero"! Hay que tener cuidado con los carteristas (sobre todo en los mercados y zonas turísticas), y con… bueno, con las estafas de los tuk-tuks y taxis. Regateá siempre el precio antes de subirte, ¡si no te van a clavar! Y… y al volver al hotel por la noche, andá con cuidado y evitá las zonas oscuras. Pero en general, la gente es muy amable y respetuosa. Eso sí, nunca dejes tus cosas desatendidas en la playa, ¡es una tentación para algunos! Y a la noche, ¡si te mandás una copita de más… cuidado! ¡Yo casi me pierdo! (¡Pero bueno, eso es otra historia!)
7. ¿Hay algo que *no* te haya gustado? ¡Decilo, no te guardes nada!
¡Ay, sí! ¡¡Claro que sí!! A ver… la comida, a veces repetitiva, ya lo dije. El calor… ¡uf! A veces insoportable. Los mosquitos… ¡me devoraron! Me picaron por todos lados, ¡parecía un mapa de constelaciones! Y… ¡la burocracia! Para todo. Para cambiar plata, para sacar una excursión… ¡Un lío! Y… y me dio mucha pena ver la cantidad de basura en algunos lugares. ¡Un poco de conciencia ambiental, por favor! Pero bueno, nada es perfecto, ¿verdad? Y, a pesar de todo, volvería… ¡ya mismo si pudiera!
8. ¿Recomendarías el Viva Vacation Resort? ¿Y por qué? (¡Es la pregunta clave!)
Mmm… ¿Lo recomendaría? ¡Sí! ¡Y no! ¡Ay, qué indecisa! A ver... si buscás un lugar para relajarte, desconectar del mundo, disfrutar de la playa y hacer actividades…Hotel Facils
